Archive for February, 2014

Describing characters

Thursday, February 27th, 2014




A few weekends ago I was sitting at a table in a lounge at the Hotel MacDonald, with a few other acquaintances. We had all spent a long evening at the Rocky Mountain Wine and Food Festival, pouring drinks and being as pleasant as possible to our customers. It’s a fun event, but can be rather tiring standing on your feet and smiling.  

The conversation shifted around, and it came out I was also a writer. Questions were directed on how I would describe individuals and scenes. A pretty young lady asked me how I would depict a good looking man.

A good question. I haven’t clue sometimes what women consider a good looking man. Oh, to be sure I’ve heard them describe a sexy man. Apparently, if you add all the various female opinions together you will get a tall man who is clean shaven with a facial hair, dark hair that might have some grey, dark eyes that are blue, quiet with a deep voice, strong without being muscled bound, forceful and sensitive, and a gentleman who rides a Harley. He wears blue jeans and a white shirt and a suit. No problem putting that into one package.

“So how would you describe a good looking man?” She asked.

I hardly hesitated. “I would make him tall. That covers three-quarters of what women want.”

She nodded, although I was expecting an argument.

“How about a woman?”

I was talking to a group of ladies here. Was I really going to say a busty blonde with long legs? Curves that make you forget there was such a thing as straight lines? Black lace and tight leather? No, I played it safe.

“Long hair and soft eyes.”

The lady smiled. I passed the test, although I suspect she knew I was holding back information. It’s okay to describe men as physical objects, but don’t do that for women. Or at least to another woman.

A couple of drinks later I bid everyone goodnight. Another day of pouring Warsteiner beer lay ahead and I needed some energy to make it through tomorrow. Those ladies I had drinks with would look good no matter how tired they are. Me, not so much. I need to be awake to figure which tie goes with my shirt.  

The Pill and the Cold

Wednesday, February 19th, 2014

Do I take the blue pill or the white one? That may simple at first, but at the time I had a head cold. My eyes were not fully focusing and the brain a bit slow in solving logic.

I had a few pills left over from the a box of cold medicine – lower box in the pic-, just the blue pills meant for nighttime use. So I picked up a package of Tylenol daytime/nighttime pills from the drugstore.

The older package used light for daytime and blue for night. Tylenol used blue for daytime and light for nighttime. Reversed. Tylenol also put the white nighttime pill on a blue background. I made a mistake and took a white pill for daytime. My wife thought I was being lazy for not wanting to go to the mall on a Saturday with our two grandsons. Honestly, I was really tired – that is my official excuse (even though I don’t like going to the mall at anytime, let alone a Saturday).

All is better now. I gave up on the pills and had a double shot of whiskey instead. Cold germs died under the assault of the alcohol. There wasn’t any confusion on the colour  either. In fact I feel well enough to go to the mall, if my wife still wants my company.